Rules for Men

Rules for men. Some I made up on my own, some I have heard/read elsewhere, I’ll cite where it came from if I remember. 

•    Throw away your Mach 27. You need no more than 1 blade to shave. Our grandfathers did it, so should you. Buy a Double Edge Safety razor (or a straight razor if you are brave), a shave brush and some shave soap. Take 20 minutes in the morning to shave. Trust me. 
•      Do not own a pet you cannot take for a walk. 
•     Never tell an old man he has lost a step, he hasn’t. 
•       Act like you have been there before. Don’t boast. 
•       Walk tall, kick ass, learn to speak Arabic, love music, and never forget you come from a long line of truth seekers, lovers, and warriors. – Hunter S. Thompson
•       When given a secret, keep it. 
•     Don’t let the sun catch you in bed. 
• Keep a notebook. Thoughts, observations and ideas. One day you will wish you could remember them. 
•  In a fight, cover is temporary. Keep moving. 
•   Open your mind, your way is not the only way.
•   A hat serves a purpose, every hat should have a purpose. That purpose ends when you walk inside. 
•   Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.  
•  Pay attention, you have exactly ONE chance to notice her new haircut. 
•    Remember, if the enemy is in range, you are too. 
•    Winning is the most important thing in life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next. – George Steinbrenner 
•    RSVP. Stick to it. 
•    Find a wallet, return it. 
•    Refill the ice tray. Even if you didn’t use it. 
•    Tell your doctor the truth. 
•    Every gun is loaded. 
•    Every dog bites. 
•   By the time you realize your father was right, you will have a son who knows you are wrong. –(I think it was Charles Wadsworth…) 
•    Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. – Ben Franklin 
•   Snow won’t shovel itself.
•   Get off the internet. 
•    The more you talk, the less you say. 
•    Don’t let a wishbone grow where your backbone should be. 
•    If you can touch it, you can catch it. 
•   Don’t block a doorway. 
•   Eat lunch with the new guy. 
•    Write that angry email. Read it carefully. Edit it. Read it again. Then delete it. 
•    Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. – Ernest Hemingway 
•    You cannot choose your own nickname. 
•    Raising your glass is fine. No need to clink everyone at the table. 
•    Let the axe do the work. 
• If you have to make more than one substitution, order something else.
•  Always say ‘we’ when speaking of your team or your country
• Open the door and hold it.
• Know how to fall a tree.
• Under no circumstance is it acceptable for a man to eat pizza with knife and fork.